We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
