We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize