i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think my moral compass just broke
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