Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
