I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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