I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
