Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
