it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
