I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize