Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
