Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
