I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
