Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
