no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
