The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
