You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
