i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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