You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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