Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
