This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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