It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
