she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
