Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
