I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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