You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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