chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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