Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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