Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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