can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
