you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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