He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
