Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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