kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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