Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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