is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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