i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
