Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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