We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
