3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am one with the molecules
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
