Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
