we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
