you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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