Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
