who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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