I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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