did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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