Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
