How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
