My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
