He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
