I'm really into asian looking animals
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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