its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
