How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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