There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
