If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
