I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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