I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
