i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
