If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
