God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
