we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
