I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
