my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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