he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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