all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
