all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
