Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
